There was a knock on my door. It had been the conversation I had been fearing the entire day. I said, "yeah?". I wasn't going to back down in how I felt. As soon as the door squeaked open I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks. I broke down faster than I imagined.
Life has been different. Clearly different. I made decisions that I'm not particularly happy with but nonetheless I made them, its too late to go back. And thats just it isn't it? There is no going back, you can only move forward.
I kept bringing up the past. I'm not a good speaker. I'm not good at clearly explaining myself especially when the other person has a valid point and then I'm left stupefied. We agreed we had gone too long in silence. We agreed both parties were at fault. We agreed we needed to do something about it. And we will. We agreed it was poor communication. Its always the latter isn't it? We agreed we felt each other was slipping. I secretly knew it was just me.
I started closing myself out to the world. Hiding in my sacred space. Access, denied. I don't want it to be like this when life has its normalcy once again.
I'm not the victim; I just don't want to be wrong all the time. I just want to be understood.
I know I have a true and lasting friendship. I will not lose it. Not like this.
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