MoROCKo Part 2: In Hour You Be Laughing

Chelsea and I practically ran off of the bus that was still trying to park in the bus station (AKA a big patch of dirt) and there were so many people trying to get us to go to their trusty cousin's ryad in town but we pulled away and started walking. To where...we weren't sure...but we had arrived! With Chelsea's map we started walking down main avenues and then this kid came up to us and was like...woah, haven't seen any Americans yet. The only liquor store in town is just down the street the other way FYI. And with that, he was the last American form of contact we would really have the entire trip. Glad to know he had his priorities straight too. They teach us well.
We made it into the Medina (the great walls that inside have all the twisty turvy alleyways and the souks) and we actually found the restaurant Taro's recommended in Chelsea's book first so we stopped there to eat since we were famished.
It was great to regroup and enjoy the scenery and eat our first bit of chicken tangine and shortly afterward we began our walk into the Medina to find our ryad.
Wow. What a pleasant surprise when we walked in. It was absolutely magnificent inside. A truly hidden gem. We were shown our rooms and showered up and by the time we headed out we started walking along the beach to ride our camels at sunset. Of course it was the one hippie dude on the beach stopping us to buy his hash cookies...I really did think about it for a minute but I knew not to trust those that you could trust in Morocco.
We stopped for a quick cup of coffee and just as soon as the camel handlers were going to pack up for the day we ran over and got the last ride. It couldn't have been better timing and I appropriately got on the camel named "Cappuccino" which I had just gotten done drinking. Match made in heaven really. The sun seemed to set perfectly between this split in this island in the distance...truly magical. We even got to see Jimi Hendrix' old mansion on the beach and "The Castles Made of Sand" that he supposedly wrote about in Essaouira. Cool.
By the time we got back to our ryad Kathleen and Dawn were waiting for us and we ate at a typical Moroccan restaurant to commemorate our first day in Morocco. We packed it in shortly after to get a full day.
Since Kat and Dawn had missed the camel trek they did that first thing in the morning while Chelsea and I went walking around the port area and tried to see a fish auction go down. We met up for lunch at the seaside to haggle for our meal that was literally prepared right in front of our eyes. It was a once in a lifetime experience for sure. We did a little souk shopping and bought some typical clothing and some souvenirs and went to the old fort to take some pretty pics and before we knew it, it was time to say goodbye to the coast only to head back to Marrakech.
I had told Kat to take Supratours and so they went to their nice bus station which was only for Supratours while we headed to the "bus station" in town and with our tickets in our hands were looking around and we don't see the name of the bus anywhere...so we walk inside and Chelsea decides to go to the front counter for departures to Marrakech while I decide to go to the police station in the bus station. In the worst attempt at French ever I explained I didn't know French (I'm sure I didn't need to tell him that) and that I spoke English. I think I asked him where the bus was departing that was on my slip and he took it from me and told me to follow him to the Marrakech departure stand and exchanged a few words with the guy behind the booth and he shortly thereafter wrote us two new tickets at no extra cost!!!!
One we were really excited because we would get on the bus bound for Marrakech and two we had been duped by the first guy in Marrakech. I hope hes happy with my 6 euros. So we run to the bus which is practically pulling out and what do you know...we are sitting in the back with a bunch of teenagers. These two behind us started off really funny but then it grew annoying. The one would recite every word he knew in English, "Hello my name is Abdul. What is your name? Would you like a cup of coffee? No, maybe later. What is your phone number? My phone number is 83515313..." Haha. No.
Then we asked his buddy to switch seats so he could now sit behind me. Chelsea leans over and was like, "don't freak out but hes been touching my back for the past 30 minutes...he going to try to mess with you but don't acknowledge it." I think its safe to say that I will definitely acknowledge that behavior.
I was prepared though and leaned forward so he couldn't touch me. Yeah right. He had like extend-able fingers and was like stroking my back and I slammed backward but he still continued. I moved forward again but he was digging his fingers into my back. I threw my bag of souvenirs crushing his fingers and he jumped back surprised and he stopped soon after. But the English taunting didn't stop. "No. Stop it. Don't touch me. Stop screaming." I have no idea where he learned those words and I didn't want to know either.
We had finally made it back to the sketchy bus station in Marrakech and we saw a petite taxi parked and told him that we had 20 dirham if he could take us to our hotel. He pretended that he didn't know the name of it I'm sure and just said no. So we crossed the street to this big hotel and there was a map of the city and lucky for us it was really close so we started our walk to the place just outside of the center and got there really tired, hungry and dirty.

MoROCKo Part 1: Couscous Kachoo

Where do I start!?!

Having my partner in crime, Chelsea Hamashin, come visit me was such a blast!!! She got here May 5th, just as soon as the month of Fería in Córdoba was kicking off (so much to do!) As soon as she arrived we were literally out the door exploring the Judería (the Jewery) to see the public patios with the beautifully decorated...well, patios. We walked around and saw the Mezquita, La Correderra, etc. and called it an early night since she was pretty exhausted.
The next day we explored a bit more and then we met up with my friends Jackie and Caitlyn to go the ¨wine tasting¨. It was anything BUT that. They have this ticket system for all of their events, very much like the fairs at home if you want to go on the rides. We bought 10 tickets between us, thinking we would only sample 5 types of wine and maybe buy a bottle because the prices were generous.
I was not aware that out of the 100 casetas (tents) that they would all be this distinct (in my opinion...nasty) white wine, called ¨vino fino¨. Lets just say by the end of the night I couldn´t tell you my name, I will never show my face on Vial Norte again, and I have no clue how we managed to get in a taxi and me tell where I live because I know Chelsea couldn´t help because she doesn´t speak a word of Spanish.
I woke up the next morning hating myself. I have only had one beer since 3 weeks ago. Me being a bad hostess and Chelsea being a good sport set off to the farmacía to buy me some meds since I was absolutely disgusting with my smokers cough (apparently I´m allergic to the olive trees here in Spain..get to that later) and she brought back the nastiest medicine ever. I had to plug my nose to swallow it and it was just fatal. Looking back, I probably should have been consistent with taking it.
Anyway, by the time I had motivated myself to get out of the apartment a lot of our afternoon was lost and we headed out to get a bite to eat since Chelsea managed to eat everything in the apartment the night before. Jackie saw us off before we took our 5 hour bus ride to Madrid. I was really looking forward to this...we thought we were going to be up all night in Madrid going to a seedy Sevillana bar listening to music and enjoying cheap beer and wine until we had to catch the metro to the airport because our flight left at 6:30 in the morning.
However, come to find out the metro closes at 2 AM and re-opens at 6. Problem #1. We were clear across town when we found out. Problem #2. It was 1:50 AM when we found out. Problem OH SHIT. So we ran down to the closest metro stop and took it as far as we could before it shut down for the evening (I thought Madrid was the "town that never sleeps"...no, thats NYC. Don't label yourself with that motto unless you stick to it). We got off at Avenida America because it seemed promising. Boy, that was not right at all. There was a lone cabbie chilling outside chain smoking and looked sad for us. We eventually convinced ourselves that this was in fact the night that we had not planned and gave up around 2:30 and made our way to the airport. 23 euros later we had arrived to the airport.
Apparently everyone had our problem because there were many people sleeping in the fetal position scattered around the airport. It looked like a war zone with luggage and zombies. Then I realized...I forgot my boarding pass, which was on my bed at home. It costs 40 euros for Ryan Air to print you out a boarding pass and I was really stoked when I found that out. Well, 6 AM arrives and I'm first in line to check-in at the Marrakech counter and I go up to the lady and in Spanish I explain what an idiot I am for forgetting my boarding pass and she was really sympathetic but she told me that I had to go wait in line at the RyanAir counter to pay for the boarding pass and I walked off feeling defeated and pissed because now I had to use the 40 euros I was going to spend on my train ticket home (2 hour trip) and now have to buy the bus ticket home (5 hour trip). So we're standing in this line and it hasn't moved in 30 minutes and its insane now because flights are getting canceled due to this ash cloud and I'm thinking we won't even make the flight because of me and all of a sudden this little woman is walking around saying, "Alejandra Warenik"!??? And I was like, "sí, yo" and she explained that her associate had printed out my boarding pass and I could continue to my gate. I almost kissed the woman and was jumping up and down! We were off to a great start!
As soon as we got on the plane...well, I don't remember much after that. We passed out the 3 hour plane ride and shortly had arrived in Marrakech! We made it to the great and vast continent of Africa!!!!! It sounds so cool.
First things first was getting to the bus station to buy our tickets to the coastal town of Esssaouria. Want to know the sketchiest place in all of Morocco? The bus station. Clearly. We thought the only dependable bus company was Supratours so we walk in and we are looking for it, right? Well...its nowhere to be seen and this guy comes up to us and is hustling. He was like, "headed to Essaouira!?" and we turn to each other...how did he know? "No, were looking for Supratours". "You won't find it here, its at the train station (that makes sense). You will be wasting your time. The next bus leaves at 2PM and I've got a bus bound for Essaouira in 15 minutes and it will get you there by 12PM." We didn't know whether to believe him or not but we only had 5 minutes to figure it out. It was unanimous. "Okay. 2 tickets to Essaouira." He managed to get round-trip tickets out of us for 120 dirham (12 euros round-trip). WOW!
Well, we realized this was going to be an uncomfortable trip as soon as we got on. I've never smelled so many foul people together at the same time and so many creepy men coming on and off the bus all at once. We were supposed to leave at 8:45 and probably didn't pull out until 9:30 because of blind men begging, men preaching from the Koran, men selling food, etc. Even while we were moving people were continually jumping on and off the bus. Weird.
So we made the bus ride end quickly by passing out for most of the 3 hour bus ride. Around 12 we had finally arrived in Essaouira! It had a completely different vibe from the second we pulled in.

Pursuit of Happiness

I'm applying for the Peace Corps this time around...for real.

I'm getting a lot of heat from my mother about returning to life in Florida and its scaring the crap out of me right now to be honest.

The Peace Corps isn't a crutch for me, believe you me. I just don't know what is awaiting me at home.

I just want to be like my nomadic ancestors.

Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See Them

Last Sunday I went for a run and I began my warm-up walk through Figeroa and as I'm in my 3rd minute I look down at my watch and all of a sudden I felt this smack in the middle of my butt and out of reaction I put my left arm out and grab whatever the material is and this LITTLE BASTARD goes flying off his bike.

I threw him onto the floor and started yelling at him to never touch me again and that I would make his life a living hell if he ever tried anything like that again. All in English of course.

I didn't know if he was more scared because he knew he had done wrong or because he had no clue what I was saying. He didn't need to know English to get the hint though.

I felt like I had done all women a favor that day for all the times you ever feel inappropriately touched and you turn around to smack them in the face but they are either gone or its too big of a crowd.

The Ugly Truth

Today while walking into Sfera a little girl blocked me from getting into one of the doorways but Jackie got in Scott free. I told the girl in Spanish, "I don't know the password" and I tried to walk by her but she wouldn't let me in. She looked at me and with a frown said, "tienes una cara malapinta". This means, "you have a sketchy face".

I guess she knows me better than I know myself.

Ios & Athens

So Ben gets us to the town and we realize quickly it is super small. If you blink you might have missed it. The view was awesome from the hostel patio, and the tiny town was barely lit.

We got showered and ready to go by 10. We met 3 girls staying there as well: Nicole, Amy and Gina (NAG) and went to Fun Pub for a few beers, watch pool and play a stressful game of Jenga.

Laura and I split a chicken gyro for 2.50 (holler!) so we were feeling full and then went to Stella's for a millasec then went to Flames. It sucked but they were playing American music and we were greeted with shots (tequila...yuck) que asco. Laura and Jackie dipped and I should've too because of O'Clarkie (Charlie, Dingle Prick...) club promoter actually undid my bra right in the middle of the freakin' bar! I ran out of there completely freaked out and found my way safely back to the hostel.

Foggy...got up ready to start the day around 10. Ben was chatting away and met a Cali guy working on cruise ships, Phillip. We talked about crazy nights in Ios and the people that came to visit and Ben was especially fond of his "feral" stories too disgusting to mention.
Completely over the conversation we set off for one last day on the beach and took many, many shortcuts and followed a dog (appropriately named Andy...courtesy of Jackie) who led us astray and then dying of dehydration stopped at a little restaurant.

Its not cool at all to sing, "I'm on a boat" because being on a boat makes me want to vomit. Its only cool if its your boat, and your boat is a yacht and T-Pain is on your boat. Then you know you've made it.

After our meals we left for the beach and FINALLY found the "shortcut" (never take anything "short" in Europe) and took a steep hill to the bottom. We literally laid out for 20 minutes because the wind was throwing around weird sea wood and we decided to throw in the proverbial towel. The walk back was a little horrifying seeing as my legs were still on fire from the climb back to Fira and the volcano trek and now now I was hungover. So slow and steady wins the race and we began our trek back up to Ios. Once we got in we noticed that like the Spaniards they like their siestas so it was a ghost town except for the one restaurant in the center.

We decided to go back to the hostel to enjoy the view once more, relax a little and read up on Athens. Ben started chatting us up again about feral stories and we met a couple more backpackers. Ben tried to convince us to stay one more night but we were eager to experience Athens (oops, our bad). Ugh.

So we got on a bigger version of the Flying Cat and as soon as I decided to change out of beach wear of course were shifting around the ocean and I think I may pass out...standing up in the bathroom changing.

I like that the Greeks respect films in their original language and we got to see a bit of Erin Brokovich on the way into Piraeus. Around 10:30 we landed and we had directions how to get to the hostel. Easy. Or so we though. Tightly gripping our bags on the street we set ouf for the metro. Quite interesting there. You either pay the 1 euro or risk getting caught not paying and being charged 60 times the ticket. Its so easy to sneak through because at some stops you don't need to scan your ticket for entry.

It turned out that random stops on our line were closed so we got herded around like sheep from one bus to another to another metro until we finally arrived at Victoria Station. Laura and I wanted to make sure we were at someplace cheap but not by prostitutes and drugs. At midnight its unavoidable in Athens or broad daylight for that matter really.

The Victoria Square had great restaurants still open (lucky us because it was feeding time) and then an open square of the creepiest immigrants you have ever laid your eyes on..hissing at you saying shit in their foreign creepy voices. Hold on, let me drop my pants right now for you.

We ran to the hostel, dropped off our stuff and booked it back to a restaurant for dinner (we truly are on Spanish time) and then returned around 1 AM and passed out.

At 8 we welcomed the day, hopped on the metro to the Acropolis and instead of paying for anything historic we used our NIE's to get us in for free (I will be milking the student discounts for as long as I can pull it off). The Acropolis was cool and every historic site had some story but most were just a pile of rubble where something great once stood. The Greeks had no idea that their great civilization would ever come to an end, be filled with transients selling table cloths, plastic tomatoes that if you throw on the ground give a smashed effect or Japanese parasols (we need to get those guys better inventory, or they will never sell anything!) or dogs looking dead just lying in random parts of the city (and I mean...EVERYWHERE). Everything historic closed by 2:30 so we got a quick bite then went through the Athens Flea Market which housed a lot of camo and gun stuff (are Athenians packing a lot of heat?!)

Walking away in search of an H&M or Zara we clearly walked the forbidden route. There was the meat district which was 1.5 miles long filled with very dead animals and their completely gutted with their parts getting butchered after already being butchered. Laura and I ran out..the smell and scenery was....... feral. Next door was the fish market and well, you can forget about that...then we rounded the corner and people were selling random crap like bathroom mats, neon workers jackets, batteries, more rubber tomatoes and Jackie all of a sudden had a stage 2 emergency so we ran into Goody's. Baddy for us.

Never in my life would I have expected such a disgusting restroom. Men and women were sharing the bathroom and a shim was smoking a cigarette and then stood with her feet facing the toilet and then I decided I would wait outside.

We checked out a pet store - all the cases were open...pigeons were for sale. walked down the street a bit more - witnessed a drug deal, got hissed at a bit more and then we all agreed Athens sucked. We didn't stay out much longer and by 6 we were back in our hostel praying we'd be back in Spain soon. At 9 we wandered out to our same spot in the cutre square, got dinner and the waiters literally blocked off the guys that come to your table interrupting your meal to sell you crap.

These guys had better inventory than the ones with the rubber balls and parasols - Mr. Bean lighters, bootleg movies and cologne. We were reserving our last change for ice cream for the walk back.

The next morning we hauled ourselves to the Larissa train station and got on the train bound for the airport, or so we thought I think if you don't speak English you are screwed. Jackie pointed out an airport sign in the other direction and started to panic when multiple people were now saying that we were going the other way and that at the next stop the train only comes every hour. We jumped out and the train luckily came within 15 minutes and then jumped on the train bound for the airport (OK...the guy we purchased our tickets from neglected to tell us you have to go backward to only go forward. That makes so much sense!) and by 12:30 we were at the busy airport. I paid 6 euros for a pizza (slice) with no cheese on it at Sbarro (outrageous). Can't wait to be back in Spain. I realize that after every trip I can't wait to be back in Spain because of how cheap everything is.

I'm also glad I got the Ave train back to Cordoba because I'm sure I would've wanted to kill myself if we had to take the 1 AM bus in.

Home sweet home.

Sunsets in Santorini

He drove us to Kafieris on the Cliff and Nadja (not her name) greeted us. The place was nice and the view was rewarding. Absolutely gorgeous in fact. We were starved so we looked around and Laura spotted "Mama's", I had actually read it was good and boy it was! She was hilarious too. "U.S....best fucking country in the world!" she exclaimed. Then she turned to her other table..."Singapore, best fucking airport in the world!" Then stated, "I don't give a shit, I do what I want". Clearly Mama. We finally had the stuffed tomatoes and I ate a traditional dish sort of like shepherds pie. delish but rich. Then we topped off the night with some ice cream.

We got up early and Mama had told us to pay no more than 25 euros for a car and checked a couple places but none would come down from 30 euros so we agreed and then began our drive to the Read Beach. The beach was absolutely stunning and it was quite the marvel. We tried to go to the Ancient ruins at Akrotiri but of course they were closed?

We then went to the lighthouse at the tip of the island (which apparently has the best sunset...not Oia...) and got great shots and I felt like I was at the edge of the world from there. We then went to Kamari, a black sand beach and bronzed a little then drove to Perissa and walked the boardwalk for a bit then stopped for some girly cocktails and a great view of the desolate beach. Next on our list was one more beach to lay out on and then we began the drive to the other side of the island to see the sunset in Oia.

We got our seats an hour before and waited for the show to start. It really was beautiful. My camera couldn't even capture how cool the colors were and how the town shined when the sun hit it. It was more like a painting. We ran back to town to drop off the car in the nick of time and quickly changed clothes and then grabbed a bit to eat. We settled for this nice restaurant and we shared an appetizer of stuffed peppers (yum!) and I got a chef salad. After dinner we checked the internet at the restaurant (not weird at all) and went back to our place to read Cosmo! tops all night (ballin' on a budget). We got up that next morning and decided to check out the town of Fira.

We rode the donkeys down to the old pier and we noticed all of these ships with a lot of Americans on them. They were leaving for a volcano tour so we hopped on too! We explored 5 volcano sites and they took us to a hot spring which was actually freezing. I was feeling broke after that decision and decided to walk up the way we came by donkey while Jackie opted for the cable car (smart girl). Bad idea Alex. I was sweating like a whore on nickel night. I was breathing in donkey crap and couldn't feel my legs. 590 steps later Laura and I arrived slightly proud of ourselves.

We saw Danielle and Michelle again at a restaurant for lunch and they joined us and we had one last hoorah. We headed back to the hostel for our ride to the port 2 hours early. Ha.

We sat down at an outdoors restaurant just wanting bottles of water and the waitress came over saying that we couldn't just order water. I felt like I was back in the US. Jackie sweetly replied, "I hope somebody f****s you in your whore mouth". Five minutes later.

At 6 we got on our slow boat (yay, smooth sailing!) bound for Ios and got to see a beautiful sunset just as soon as we were docking. Ben was there to greet us. A guy about our age and we were glad because we had begun to notice it was the cutres (creeps) that were the hostel/hotel chauffeurs.